Thursday, October 9, 2008

RECOLLECTIONS OF LEX: "HIGH TIMES"

i guess its time for me to start a new segment of my growing blog. since people always say i got some wild stories about my life, i guess its time that i showcase some of the things that happen in a day of the life of myself. i guess this one will be about a time where i over enduldged in some "wacky tobaccy"..

being in the military for almost 6 years can REALLY stress you out, so when my contract was up, i said "THATS IT!! I'M OUT!". i went on terminal, grew my hair out, and said "i'm bout to get REEAAALL high". i called one my boys, who i will call YB so to remain confidential, and he hooked me up with some "cranberry kush". now...seeing how i hadn't smoked in about 7 years, i didn't know what the hell the difference was between this and any other weed. i didn't know that this was "Solid gold pair of Air Jordans" of weed and its not something you should smoke if you're a "light weight". i got home, smoked a lil bit of it, turned on Cartoon Network and sat down in my recliner and chilled. thats when the shit kicked in. i went about 2 minutes before i realized I WASN'T FUCKIN BREATHIN!!! i took a deep breath and was like "wtf did i just do?" but at the same time i couldn't move. all of a sudden i started thinking and when you are high, thats NOT a good thing to do especially if you know the wild shit that goes through my mind. out of nowhere the thought of a sheep with dreadlocks doing back flips popped into my mind and i fuckin lost it. i sat there laughin for about 20 minutes straight. then, thats when the pizza commerical came on. Dough covered in cheese, sauce, spices and assorted meats had never looked so good in my life. thats when i remembered "yo, i got a Tombstone in the freezer". it took me about 5 minutes to get up and make my way to the kitchen which was about 20 feet from where i was sitting. i got the pizza, unwrapped that joint and threw it in the oven and sat back down. TWO HOURS later, i'm like "i don't smell baked goodness, what the fuck is taking this pizza so damn long?", so i get up, go to the oven, throw that bitch open and its cold as hell in there........MY HIGH ASS DIDN'T EVEN TURN THE MUTHAFUCKIN OVEN ON!!! The pizza was lookin at me like "Nigga, you high". but what got me was "why the hell did i wait TWO HOURS to check on a pizza that takes 20 minutes to cook?". lmao.

the next day i went to the music store to kick YB's ass for sellin me that shit, and to also cop another dub cap of the same shit (i know. very retarded, right?). i was like "nigga why you aint tell me that shit was that strong?". this nigga said "i didn't know, it was my first day with that kind. i smoked some of it last night on the way home and i spent about 20 minutes tryin to find my keys so i could get OUT of my car because i thought i locked myself IN the bitch." lmao. so i'm like "well, let me get another 20 of it." he was like "nigga.....they came in and cleaned me out this morning! word got out and i went through 2lbs in 2 hours but i should have some more by tonight". so i copped The Minstrel Show (i lost my first copy) and a new mixtape called Sample Clearance by Don Cannon, chucked the duece and went to work at the good ole' "Wealth".

the day was overly retarded because of people askin the same shit over and over again, so again, i needed some "relief" and went to see if my dude had re upped his supply. as soon as i got there, he was like "i got some new stuff to try if you down". i said cool and he closed up the store and we all got in the car and smoked.......not a good idea. if you know the music store i used to go to and where i used to live, you know they are a good distance away from each other. now add in the fact that i'm high as hell and my normal 20 minute trip became almost an hour. the whole time, i'm almost on the verge of tears because i KNOW i'm about 2 blinks from passin out from "highness" and i still got about 5 miles to go but in "high time" thats about 30 minutes. i'm thinkin i'm goin to have to pull over and thats when i see him....Colonel "muthafuckin" Sanders!! i perked up and got in the drive thru and ordered one of the new things they had at the time, The KFC Bowl!! i had never had one, so i asked for two (i'm high, remember). i stopped by the gas station, picked up an Arizona Watermelon juice and got in the crib. now, i didn't think it would be humanly possible to "rape" food, but i fucked those two bowls up like a nigga fresh off lock. i destroyed them shits to the point where i didn't even want to look in the mirror because i was afraid of seeing what kind of beast i had become. my roommate came into the crib and while we were choppin it up, he looked at me with this weird face and said "how the fuck did you get corn in your glasses?".....thats when i realized it was time to leave the weed alone for a while. lmao.

the end.

1 comment:

micAh! said...

I never blazed up a day in my life. when I get out i'ma jump on it! lol