Monday, September 1, 2008


OLD PEOPLE HAVING SEX -- i don't know what it is, but that shit freaks me out. at what age do you say "hey, its time for you to cut that shit out"? i mean, nature has it to where your stuff doesn't work anymore, then "Man" decides to make pills for the shit to start workin again. i mean, at somepoint you're gonna have to hang ya jersey up in the rafters and remember the stats you put up in your heyday. you don't want to make a "come back" like Jordan did with the Wizards, out of shape and then embarrass yourself. you wanna go out on top, not go out and have a heart attack from tryin to bust off one last "shot".

EXTREMELY FINE WOMEN BLOWING UP THE BATHROOM -- we all know that its human nature that you have to go to the bathroom, but some things should just be left to the imagination. in my mind, girls don't take dumps, let alone "put in work" in them muthafuckas. in my mind, the most a girl can do is "poot" and the booty hole is just for decoration. i mean, can you imagine Beyonce, Halle Berry, or Michelle Obama on the toilet, after eating some Popeyes, sweatin like a slave while taking a "growler"? no. but i'm sure they do it. i remember i was living with this VERY attractive female, who shall remain nameless, before i moved back to Houston and one day i had just killed a bottle of Gatorade and i had to go relieve myself but she was in there. so i waited until she was done and ran into the bathroom only to find that the climate in the bathroom was like a hot August day in Botswana in that bitch. i couldn't look at shorty the same way anymore. whenever i saw her, i thought of global warming and the melting of polar ice caps. i don't know, call me immature but that shit just weirds me out.

EXTREMELY OBESE COUPLES HAVING SEX -- whenever i see two big ass people together, especially with a kid, i just think "how in the hell is that physically possible"? for those who know me, yall know i have a VERY vivid imagination, so when ever i think of two ginormous people doin the nasty, i think of Godzilla fighting some gigantic, unrealistic creature while destroying the city and landscape around it. then i think "what kind of bed do those people have that can take such abuse"? i remember there was this customer that used to come through the shop with his girl and these were two "tons of fun" individuals and (due to that imagination of mine) i used to laugh inside thinking about their big clumsy asses tryin to "get to business". i mean seriously, if you could see the shit i think about, you would die of laughter.

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